Your thoughts don't need to define you

Especially if they're negative! We love the work by Susan David (CEO of Evidence Based
Psychology) and Christina Congleton, an associate at Evidence Based Psychology on how effective leaders manage their negative thoughts and feelings (Harvard Business Review November 2013).

They recognise and remind us that all of us have thoughts and feelings that can include criticism, doubt, and fear.

Where this becomes an issue is when we start believing what our inner voice is saying. What that voice is often doing is looking at a situation and working through the scenarios : akin to a process like De Bonos thinking hats, this happens though often without our conscious control and is our brain at work navigating solutions for us.

Where we come unstuck is when we don't recognise the thoughts and emotions for what they are : thoughts and emotions : they do not have to become the defining feature of us in that moment or determine our outcomes.

Being able to practice mindfulness and consciously assess the thought for what it is, is a great first step in determining our outcomes. Realising we are having a negative thought is ok as is how we feel about that thought.

David and Cohen put forth that effective leaders don’t suppress their inner experiences but rather practice emotional agility. A process where according to David and Cohen they recognise patterns; label thoughts and emotions; accept them; and act on their values.

What this relies on is a base of values that define who you are as an indvidual as a human being. What you stand for and the committment you have to those values are incredibly powerful drivers of your ability to practice mindfulness and in doing so be able to enact positive changes in your and others worlds even when the voice of doubt and potential failure enter your head.

This is about being true to yourself and that comes with the first step of knowing who you are.

Who you are is a construct of your experiences and interactions : the socialisation and combination of social structure and social engagement : but it's deeper than that : it is the very essence of not only who you are as a result but who you are wanting to be.

That's when you can reach for the positive affirmations, and the picture of the ideal you and understand where the gap is between the self you are now and the person you want to be. That defines the values you need to stay true to and the ones that will be challenged along the way.

With that clear understanding when you are challenged, fearful, anxious, conflicted or have just made a bad choice you will have the mindfulness to recognise the feeling that is out of kilter with your ideal self acknowledge that thought, accept it and take the action the positive action to rectify it and stay or move closer to the values that the ideal you embodies.